The above image is me. At least I think it's pretty accurate
Hi lovlies!! I should be studying / doing homework right now but I need a break and what better break than my blog that I love? As you guys know, I'm in a year with completely new people, and I know it's only the third day but I usually find it SO much easier to make friends 🙁 I have some friends but I'm so awkward around the girls i haven't spoken to and they probably all think im a little nerd that gets in everyone's way (not in a self deprecating way, I don't mind being a nerd, I love my glasses and I quite literally am getting in the way of people I'm very clumsy). One of them is my best friends older sister so she knows who I am but we haven't actually spoken and I want to but I'm scared.
Anyway, to explain why I'm discouraged even though it's only day three, is because I usually think of myself as a confident person. And i still kind of am, like I was very talkative during maths because i love my teacher and she's curious about the things that have changed since she left and had two babies and came back (she hates the school and thinks the rules are stupid like we do) and I didn't feel self conscious there but as soon as I have to actually conversate with new people, I freeze and all my confidence disintegrates. I went to my best friend literally on the verge of tears at break time because I sit ALONE at the very BACK of my Irish class. I was so happy that I got one of my favourite teachers and now I'm as far as possible. I now realise this sounds extremely pathetic because I'm talking about really liking my teachers but they're so friendly!!
I know it'll get better and i'll make friends it just feels hopeless when i'm at my locker accidentally blocking other people or when I bump into someone in the hallway and suddenly assume they hate me and will forever hold a grudge 🙁 Also is it just me that hates uaing full stops in my blog posts? They feel so corporate and serious yk? Anyway I will update on the friend making situation but for now, goal for this week is to be super jolly and let nobody dim my light
signing off with love, farrah ♡
lol there is absolutely nothing pathetic about liking teachers. It’s a really good thing, I LOOOVED my teachers, they were truly amazing. But yeah, I’m really socially awkward, I assume the worse always. I also don’t usually like talking to people, and I find it really awkward most of the time, I feel like I’m a bother. But we need to stop doing that to ourselves, it’s like we’re making our own problems. I need to start getting over that, because I’m tired of worrying all the time. There’s real life out there for me and I need to stop sitting in my “shyness”. For the locker scenario, accidents happen just say “sorry” and move on like they did. Just be yourself unapologetically, and you’ll be fine. 💗
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