The Difference Between Being Alone and Loneliness

Hi lovelies!!
Recently, I've been alone quite a lot. It's summer break, everyone is out with their friends, and while I do have some amazing friends, I've spent most of July alone and will spend most of august alone due to certain circumstances limiting the time I should be spending outside (basically I just cant risk getting sick) 

But it's made me think, why haven't I felt as lonely as I thought I would, and what really makes us feel lonely instead of comfortably alone? 

I'm going to explore my personal reasoning or opinion, some philosopher's views on this and sharing how to find comfort in solace.

My personal opinion

When I thought about how even just a couple months ago I would've been or felt lonely right now instead of simply being alone, I wondered what about me had changed. Now this isn't to say i haven't felt lonely at all, but just less lonely than i thought i would feel. I realised i had become more comfortable with who I am as a person and didn't seek validation from others (slight spoiler for my next post).How I did this, I don't know but i now know how i WOULD do it had it been intentional (i did try before but i never kept up with it). think of it as silence, when you're with people, the silence between you can either be awkward or comfortable. I don't think of silence as awkward anymore, but if you can't sit in silence with someone without feeling awkward, how can you learn to b okay with the silence of being alone?

Philosophers' Takes

For existentialists like Jean-Paul Sartre, being alone is the default truth of reality. He argued that we are "condemned to be free." Being Alone is an philosophical fact we cannot escape . We are born alone, we think inside our own minds, and we die alone. Embracing this is the . Loneliness often comes around when we try to escape this. We look to other people to tell us who we are and give us meaning. When they fail to do so, we feel a deep void and feel isolated. 

Political philosopher Hannah Arendt made a very important distinction based on your inner monologue. She argued that being alone is necessary for human thought, but loneliness destroys it. When you are alone, you are not really empty; you are engaged in a silent, active conversation with yourself. You are your own companion. Loneliness happens when that internal conversation breaks down. In loneliness, you are completely individual, deserted by others, and unable to find a companion in yourself. 

Both of these relate to OTHER people and not yourself, bringing me to my next point, how do we find comfort in solace?

How To Find Comfort in Solace

To find comfort in solace, you first have to change your perspective from seeing it as isolation or the absence of others, to treating it as the presence of yourself. Philosophically and practically, when you stop waiting for the world to fill your quiet spaces and instead learn to inhabit them fully, you will find comfort . Now this is obviously easier said than done, so here's how i would do it. 

Nowadays, our brains expect constant stimulation from screens and daily routines like work and school. When that stops, the sudden quiet feels uncomfortable, which we can mistake for loneliness. Accept the initial boredom as a necessary detox phase for your mind rather than a sign that something is wrong. 

Solace becomes comfortable when you are occupied without the pressure of an audience. Paint, cook, or write without the intention of showing it to anyone or posting it online, or seeking external validation. Do it for yourself

Existential dread LOVES when you get trapped inside your own head. Try connect with the physical world to get out of your mind. Go for a walk, pay attention to the weight of your steps, or sit quietly and notice five things you can see, hear, or touch in your space.  

Treat your space the same as you would when a guest is over, even when you are alone. Make your physical environment a place you want to be by lighting a candle, making a cup of tea, or playing music that matches your mood (sad music will make the sadness worse, I do not mean listen to sad music that's self sabotage) . Romanticise the quiet.